生日禮物

一個月裡面去了兩次醫院，不過不是我生病或急診，都是陪人家去的啦。第一次是陪親愛的菜菜佩茹，胃原本就不好的她差點把我嚇死，前一天晚上突然進急診，要不是我大一有規定老早就衝去醫院陪她了！結果醫生也查不出個所以然，安排她第二天去泌尿科，幸好我沒課，就請示了學姐陪她去看診，雖然之後睡著了哈哈！因為真的等很久吖...

昨天又去醫院，這次，算是巧合，也不完全是。

Soccer Life.

如果是以前，這絕對不會是我生命里不可或缺的東西。

友情,無罪

Just, a little

4點以前的故事

昨天真的是有史以來，第二次可以跟一個人聊了這麼久，凌晨4點，有點懷疑自己的肝是否還安康。要不是一個巧遇，一個狀態，我應該也不會知道他的事。

至於什麼發展就不說了，隱私因素。

跟你的聊天，逐日稀少。有些事情，保持距離是最好的態度，就像我說的，改變，會變質。因為以前作出改變，所以變質，我很自私，又害怕受傷，所以我想維持。

其實，活在內心的自己，真的很醜陋，我永遠不會忘記那一堂普心課，那一堂課中，我與自己的內心對上，遇見自己後的那兩行不止的淚，我永遠不會忘記。

抱歉他走漏風聲，謝謝你的好，你的關心，你的好人卡。

我想維持現在，朋友、隊友，還有聊心的知己。這樣就夠了。

Alone, any problem?

Who says alone is terrible?

Since I've been here, left NTNU and now, being here, started my uni-life, I seems to be more prefer 'lonely' lifestyle than before. I'm scared to have meals alone in the past but now, 'What's the problem?' It's usual for me now, being alone is not as creepy as you thought, well don't ask me to watch a movie especially horror alone, that would definitely NG!

Having dinner alone last night, walking alone at the street, queuing alone just to buy snacks, and watching couples sticking everywhere, without complaining 'cause nobody is beside, arghhh. Challenging huh. I like 'lonely lifestyle recently, doing things alone isn't scary, the truth is, uni-life causes most people lost their real 'me', what they present, is not the real him/her, self-vacation do help to find your real personality in some ways, at least you can tear off your sticky fancy mask 'cause you don't need to social anyone.

Things You Should Try Alone at least Once

The video mentioned watch a movie alone right? Maybe yes, but sorry not for a horror one.

And lastly, 3 down, 3 to go! Happy 'lonely' lifestyle!

Broken English post

Let's talk about feelings.

First of all, sorry for the broken English below, if you're too good in English grammar, please skip off this post to the previous posts, or other bloggers' posts. 'Cause I'm scared to be in charge on your insurances or medic fees, too poor to pay these kind of things. Second, as I'd mention, be careful and don't be blind. (Due to the brokennnnnnnn English below!)

Stars above the sky, after I came to here, the only two things to relieve my down feelings, stars above the sky and feel the sea. The thing I like here, in the campus, was the field, in the middle of the stadium, especially on weekends, lights are often off, so apparently it's almost dark there. A place I often been to watch stars, no place else could be better than there, Peaceful, quite, no one but you, lie on greeny grass, I can even sleep on it if I want to.

Stressful life in here, not even a single piece of muscle is relax, I don't know why but quite stressed. To be honest, I'm having difficulties on 'socialing' with the people here, topics they had seems not so suit, how can I even discuss? I don't know why but maybe generation gap? But, it's better than none isn't it? At least I had sources to update those bulletin...haha!

I'm quite fed up with those youngsters, honestly, maybe we should change it to social life, as we know, BGs (short formed boys and girls) here usually study in boys school or girls school, other than us mostly graduate from unisex school. They're actually the same with us, teenagers are curious 'bout opposite sex, since they're like never touch in with girls or boys outside their school. Once they got freedom, and that's totally 'LOVE FREEDOM'! What's the feeling of falling in love, loved, cared by him/her etc. And you know what, these happened in my Form 1 sec. school life, ALREADY! Is this the point I should be proud of? Nah... 

But just in case, I'm trying to pull out myself from keeping depress, 'cause nobody will help except my own, why must a girl rely on someone especially boys? Girls are stronger than boys in some ways, but not going to give examples since it's a FACT, blah. And, hope I'll find my piece of sea somedays.

PS: Fucking broken English came to the end. 

唔好對我咁好...

還是不明白為什麼要這麼關心我

明明只是一句簡單的「考試加油！」
換來的卻是一連串的關心
是慣性嗎？
我真的搞不懂。
我很謝謝你的關心，你的體貼，但是
可以不要對我那麼好嗎？

「幹嘛那麼關心我」
「因為你是好女生」

她

今天終於放肆的哭一場。

今天的心理學課，再一次的，玩起催眠課。
上一次的催眠，並沒有走到心底的最深層，那時候，當我走到海灘，就走到更深的地方......直到被喚醒的那刻，我才意識到自己離隊了。
這一次，說真的我的意識一直都在，除了在全身放鬆的階段不在狀況，其實到了下樓梯的部分，我也跟著下樓梯了。可是那個過程，很驚悚，那並不是一條舒服的過程，樓梯很暗，很暗，一直到達陸地，轉身看到的，是條昏暗的走廊，兩側都是門，夾雜一些陰森。我隨著聲音的帶領，來到寫著自己名字的房門，吸了一口氣，就把門打開了。
那是一間復古的房間，明亮的落地窗陽光照進，暖暖的火爐生著火，我在面對火爐的沙發坐下，看著那暖暖的火，一直燒著，與門外比起，它少了威脅，多了溫暖。這時候，眼角餘光看到一個人接近，但是沒有恐懼，而是親切，轉頭一看，是她。看見她的一刻，它們奪眶而出，任由地心引力的吸引往下流。我們坐在沙發，一句不吭，時間就這樣停留著。房間里，除了木頭被燒的咔吱聲，就剩下我和她的呼吸聲，直到她要離開前，她對我說了一句

“走下去。”

我的眼淚始終沒有停下，不過既然已經遇到了，我，也是時候離開了。但是直到現在，我還是沒辦法確定自己那時候是否確實將那扇門鎖緊，我就上樓梯，離開了，醒了。

睜開眼睛，我依然哭著，不是因為思念，而是解脫。謝謝你。每次在我需要的時候都會出現。